How to get an apartment in San Francisco

I've been looking for an apartment in San Francisco for the last 2 months. My roommate and my budget is tight, and neither of us are willing to compromise on space and security. There was one place that I was 2nd on the list only because I hadn't applied fast enough. Through all of these experiences, I've learned a few tricks that should land me a place in the coming weeks. So, I've made a list of tips on how to secure your next hipster pad across the street from Dolores Park, or your yuppie GOP heaven near Grace Cathedral. It ain't easy, but either is livin'.

1. Bring your credit report.
• Don't just bring your credit report, bring your resume, a cover letter telling them why you're looking and what you're looking for...and two pay stubs to prove that you've been in the city (or in a job) for a while. Any form of proof that you exist is probably good, as most people that come to open houses don't really exist, and the home owners know this.
• If the person there isn't the home owner (happens very often) give it to them anyway. The worst they can do is throw it away.
  
2. Show up earlier than everyone else.
• Be the first to fill our all of their required documentation.
  
3. Be interested.
• If you walk in, fill out an app, and walk out...you're screwed. I don't care if your credit score is 850...at least shoot the shit with these people. Can you image working like that all day? I would need someone to make me utilize my vocal cords, or I'd go nuts!
  
4. Set up an email or phone correspondence.
• If there's an open house with times and addresses in Craigslist then...email them before the open house to let them know. If you just show up, they won't be familiar with you, and you're less likely to get the place.
  
5. Don't bribe or be a douche-bag about needing it.
• Seriously. Are you that desperate? Couch Surf until they move rent to your level. This country is run by it's citizens, not by corporations and government. Be a damn citizen and suck it up for a bit. That right place will fall into your lap. My first place in the city was a result of a 2 bedroom open house with a 4 bedroom upstairs. My roommates went to the 2 bedroom, and were surprised to find a 4 bedroom that wasn't in Craigslist for $2200 in 2005.
  
6. Get a place you can barely afford.
• Everyone is moving up in the world, right? So, chance are, if you're serious, you'll get a raise in the next year. Learning how to budget the money you do have will make that raise more important and feel good.
7. Don't give them too much.
• If the place isn't worth it...fuck 'em. They can find some idiot who can pay their exorbitant rates (ah hem CityApartments).